Blurred Lines: Performing vs Being Performative

Artwork by Suhani Baheti/@Maatr5Crux

Between checking my temperature for the 5 th time, lying in bed listening to the drilling sounds from the floor above, accompanied by the new Giveon (thank you Vinayak if you’re reading), drinking this god-awful chai that’s supposed to cure me, and scrolling of course (just not mindlessly this time) I stumbled across this girl talking about the dilemma of performing. More specifically, the concept of being perceived as performative.

She was on some whimsical shit which, to be very honest, I didn’t fully understand (but I don’t think we’re always meant to), neither did Shreya, who I ran this idea by before I started writing this. What’s a true friend if not someone who bombards you with their thoughts while you slave at your unpaid internship? I’ll let you guess who’s who in this scenario.

She spoke about how we’re pretty much always performing, even if we’re not consciously being performative. Posting on social media, as a concept, is very liberating for me. As soon as you detach the views and audience from it, it just becomes an extension of you. And while you might spend 15 minutes looking for a song for a story you know most people are going to watch on mute, you still put in the effort. Because it’s a performance. The question remains- is it a performance simply because of the public nature of the action or are you actively trying to conform to a larger system, in other words, are you being performative?

This buzzword mostly reminds me of boys who drink matcha and listen to Clairo (make it stop PLEASE), but while thinking about this for longer, I remembered one of the more interesting things I studied about last semester in my Sociology class. Erving Goffman talked about the dramaturgical self, and how we’re all actors in society, performing for an audience all the time. While I hate agreeing with a man, his theory makes sense for the most part. He argues that human beings who, for the most part, want to fit into society and conform to its conventions, are always putting up some kind of an act in front of their audience. This act must be aligned with the belief system of their audience, it must be consistent, and must present an ideal image of themselves, so that, to put it plainly, they are liked. A part of me wants to call bullshit on that, because I think there are more important things than being liked by people who you don’t like. But there is some amount of truth to it. Most of the time our actions are in alignment with what we think will be generally acceptable. What I find most interesting about this concept though, is where do we draw the line between being

socially acceptable and expressing our authentic selves. Also, think about this. Everybody likes a little validation, yeah. But would you rather be validated by 5 people who genuinely add value to your life, or hundreds of your Instagram followers who you wouldn’t even look in the eye if you saw them in person. So, at the risk of sounding too blunt, why dial down your authenticity for people who don’t care if you live or die.

Goffman talks about a front stage and a backstage, the former being the space where you interact with others and the latter being a space where it’s just you, no audience to watch or monitor your every move. It’s not so black and white in my head though, because if you’re always actively thinking about ways to get people to like you in the frontstage, what are the chances that you’re not thinking about it when you’re alone? This also stems from the overarching believe people have, that everyone is in fact watching their every move. Think about it for a second. If everyone is thinking like this, they’re most likely too occupied thinking about themselves to find them looking at what you’re doing.

I post a lot on social media, and while I hesitate sometimes, I’ve come to realise this fear of being perceived cannot be controlled. Everything is a performance. Your mere existence in front of others is a performance, regardless of whether you’re trying to create some kind of impression of yourself or not. You may think passively liking a reel isn’t performing, but when your little username comes up, someone may view it as one. That’s the thing with perception. It’s entirely external. It’s a harrowing thought- an action you’re carrying out with a certain intention might be taken for something completely different. But that’s exactly what’s so freeing about it. It’s out of your hands.

Being performative is a type of performance, yes. Is every performance performative? I don’t think so. Raising your hand to ask a question in class is a performance. Is it performative? Sometimes. Is saying you have gay friends as a way to prove your allyship performative? Well, yea. Rupi Kaur’s poetry is performative. If that’s your cup of tea, I’m sorry. DHH fans who make a mosh pit at lollapalooza and address only your male friends till you eventually push them are so performative. Is listening to Clairo as a man performative? No. Is listening to Clairo to make yourself more desirable for women performative? Yes. Arguably. Because that’s exactly where you surrender to the audience. The audience that doesn’t care about you btw.

This was food for thought. Everything is perceived as performative if the viewer has enough hate in their heart. So put on a good show and hand them some popcorn along with it. ;)